Wednesday, September 23, 2026

Conan O'Brien/"In the Year 2000"

 






In early August, I paid a visit to Chicago's very own Museum of Broadcast Communications, armed with my old off-air recording of 2001's Bozo: 40 Years of Fun for their staff to digitize and host on their YouTube channel.

Their summer exhibit was a history of late-night talk shows, from Jack Paar and Johnny Carson all the way to Stephen Colbert. One of their exhibits, behind glass, was a copy of a book called In The Year 2000..., a tie-in to Late Night with Conan O' Brien.

The late 80s and early 90s saw a veritable boom of late-night talk shows: The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Into the Night with Rick Dees (whose intro1 was a favorite of mine at two or three years old), The Late Show with David Letterman, The Arsenio Hall Show (which memorably saw Bill Clinton play the saxophone on-air, virtually clinching the victory for his Presidential run), and Late Night with Conan O'Brien, a show that had many recurring sketches, one of which is most pertinent to the Museum's interests: "In the Year 2000," which had host Conan and sidekick Andy Richter jokingly predict things that would happen in the year 2000. After the year 2000, Conan declined to update the number.

After coming home from the museum, I went through a long and arduous process at my local library to find it, because no library in the state of Illinois had it.  This volume came from the Onondaga County Public Library in Syracuse, NY, and it took a few weeks for Evergreen's library to receive it.

This book, originally published in October 1999, is a collection of those humorous predictions. I will post here those which are safest for those reading at work.

IN THE YEAR 2000...Singer Meat Loaf will become the spokesman for a company that makes meat loaf. Vanilla Ice will become a spokesman for a company that makes vanilla ice. And M.C. Hammer will be arrested for stealing a bike.

IN THE YEAR 2000...It will be revealed that the only reason the mitten was invented was because something cute was needed to rhyme with kitten.

IN THE YEAR 2000...The Pope will shock the world when he abruptly changes faiths, declaring 'I'm a Zeus man now.'

IN THE YEAR 2000... Iraq will once again be accused of chemical warfare after spy photos reveal that they've been stockpiling Michael Jordan cologne. (Writer's note: A quick Google search reveals that, as of 2026, it's still being made.)

IN THE YEAR 2000...Scientists will discover the secret ingredient in Starbucks Coffee: a chemical that makes people forget they're paying four dollars for a cup of coffee.

IN THE YEAR 2000...The Internet will be so overcrowded that most people will make their living strictly through refunds from America Online. (Writer's note: America Online still sort-of exists, but it's nowhere near as relevant as it was in the 90s and early 2000s.)

IN THE YEAR 2000...The four-day workweek will become standard, though most employees will be required to work one day each weekend--usually Friday.

IN THE YEAR 2000...Congressmen will be limited to two terms of seven minutes each. (Writer's note: Term limits in the Senate and in Congress are now more relevant in 2026 than ever.)

IN THE YEAR 2000...Policemen will be replaced by robots. The aluminum donut industry will go through the roof.

IN THE YEAR 2000...The government will finally change the word "orange" to a word that's easier to rhyme.

IN THE YEAR 2000...Man will sometimes write '1999' on his checks.

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